Missing my parents…..
Thursday, April 10th, 2008(The following was written last night, April 10, 2008.)
After years of living independently from my family, I suddenly long for the presence of my parents. The circumstance where I am now may have been an influence. However, this is not the first time that I am going through a tough time. I’ve been through high waters and hell on my own….
In my early childhood years, my parents would not even allow me to do household chores. When I get sick, my father would be awake the whole night checking on me from time to time. Both of them will not let me and my brother go to our neighbor’s house to play with other kids because we might get bullied. They would rather go hungry just to provide for our needs. In those days, so long as my parents are beside me, nothing can ever go wrong.
For some reasons, we parted ways. I learned independence, surviving many difficulties without them. This makes me proud. I don’t long for their present until this very moment…I am in pain, "depressed", and alone. I wish I have my parents beside me. I long to have the comfort and security I have had years ago. I ache to feel the warmth of their love–unconditional love. They are not perfect people yet deep inside I know they value me like a precious gem. Never will they desire that someone will inflict harm on me nor me being miserable….I never thought I will ever face this day of longing. This makes me cry hard—my heart feels like it’s going to burst.
I realized that no matter how strong and level-headed I can be, at the age of 34, I can not set aside the truth that my parents are a part of my being. They are an instrument why I am here. Unfortunately, they are not beside me at this moment…I went away from them…the walls between us are so high…I missed them….like a little child, I cry out.
