My Journey

My "weekender" last week (April 28) was a visit to a collegue and friend, Jojo.  I was with the CMA gang (Alphi, Ma’am Luz, Ma’am Joy, Ma’am Rose, Ma’am Magda, Sir Nonoy, and Geraldine).  It was another working day for us as we were going round the different communities distributing the research papers students did for them.  Unlike any ordinary working day, that day was special and we were all "looking forward".  The highlight was the "visit and lunch together".  We were bringing food to be shared while the host promised dessert and drinks.  Before 12 noon we found ourselves in a small nipa hut in a rice field with a garden of flowering plants and vegetables.  Fresh air cooled us while the warmth welcome was very relaxing.    It was, indeed, a joyful moment for me.  I was close to nature, away from the noise of the city, and was with a family.  It’s a GIFT.  I can’t get myself one from any department store or big mall in the world ‘coz it carries a price unmatched.  My bonding moment with the CMA family was made very special by the SIMPLICITY  of everything and everyone.  I was bringing with me a BIG SMILE on our way back to our own respective places with a gratefulness to HIM for the graces I have received from that experience.

My "weekstarter" (April 29), on the other hand, was a funfilled occasion with another family, dormmates.  We basked under the sun on the beach for hours, exchanged crazy stories, played with the waves, and ate sumptuous meal.  The place was all ours with the caretakers literally taking care of us, of our security.  The spash  of the seawater on the stones in the seashore, bamboo cottages shading us from the sun during swim break, soft winds carrying the smell of the sea, the giggles and loud voice of the storytellers, everything was wonderful.  Another joyful  moment…another gift….an added BLESSING.   While thoughts of my weekender still linger beautifully my weekstarter made its "tug" on the sleeve of my heart.   I was almost bursting.  Like a child, all through out this special moment with my dormmates, I kept saying "WOW" and "YEHEY".  I was feeding the child in me very well.  Thanks to the girls (dormmates) and the neighbor (Omar) and the new found friends at the beach (the caretakers).

These bonding moments didn’t happen by chance.  These were a GIFT.  All that had transpired were meaningful.  It was a conversation with HIM, a spiritual experience which left me blissful…..

When will you ever give up on me?
A sinner like me is condemned
When will youe ever stop pursuing me?
Many times I put my back on you
I deny you not once
But patiently you’ve waited…..

Your sweet love is ever enduring
My impure heart, my lustful acts you’ve
    unconditionally cleansed
You’ve clothed me with Your warmth
My cold days and nights are gone

You call me Your child
Never have I known how special and
    beautiful I am to you, oh Lord!
The whole of me I lift up to You
Take me, I am yours…..

The above was written on April 06, 2007 (Holy Friday) at the Retreat House.

This experience took place on April 05, 2007, the first day of the spiritual retreat.
After reading Mark 10:46-52, this was the message I got….

    Today, I just received Jesus’ assurance that He will not leave me.  That He will help me carry my "cross"…that I just have to be courageous.  It was not difficult for me to convince Him to be with me again because I know deep within the core of my heart that He has never left me; only I have turned my back on Him.  Because He lovingly told me that He will do what I asked of Him, I have more reasons to be happy…..I am more confident now in my being an instrument of His LOVE and PEACE.

This piece was written last night….

A beautiful sunset at Perlita

Today’s afternoon was extraordinary.  I was blessed to share a rare bonding moment with two of my collegues.  "Stories" told were not new but quite meaningful.  No pretense, no effort to put up a good show, only the true selves with time to spare.

It was an hour or so of peace and quiet and of contentment.  It was a priceless and sacred experience that sifts through  my whole being.

Blazing orange sun dipped in cottony clouds, with rays kissing the grayish sky, soft wind touching my skin, blowing my hair, seemingly calm sea while fishing boats like floating miniatures, trees and high-rising buildings…ahh! Life is beautiful…

I entered a retreat and remained there for four nights and three days.  It was my first silent retreat after two years.  Because I received so many graces, my gratitude inspired me to share to my friends some of the significant moments I have had during my solitude.  This what I am sharing now is only one part of the many series that are coming out in the days to come….

Below is a short note I wrote when we arrived at the Oasis of Dialogue (the place of the retreat)in the late  afternoon of April 04, 2007.

    On my way to this "meeting place," I’ve encountered a beautiful sunset.  If the three kings had their guiding star when they set out to look for the KING of KINGS, I, too, had my own bright star "welcoming " me back to where I belong–to HIM.  I felt like a young woman who’s going to meet with her lover after a long separation.  Excitement mixed with great anticipation overwhelms me…Finally, I’m here in this "agreed" time and place…I only have my WHOLE SELF to ready to fully submit to HIM.  I can’t wait to talk to HIM and listen to all that HE has to say to me….